Rain Water Washes Her Away

I must apologize for not writing sooner, my laptop is currently without a charger. This post comes to you via my phone, I hope y’all enjoy.


“Let’s go back, back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned

‘Cause perfect didn’t feel so perfect
Tryin’ to fit a square into a circle
Was no life I defy

Let the rain fall down and wake my dreams
Let it wash away my sanity
‘Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream let the rain fall down
I’m coming clean

I’m shedding, shedding every color
Tryin’ to find a pigment of truth beneath my skin,
‘Cause different doesn’t feel so different
And goin’ out is better than, always stayin’ in
Feel the wind”
-Coming Clean (Hillary Duff)

Last night the rain came to town. It rained all through the early morning light. Now it’s almost lunch time and I’m sitting outside in shorts and a tank top in January. Things could be weirder.

I love the soothing sounds the rain creates when it hits the roof and windows. It usually lulls me into a nice dreamy state and allows me extra beauty sleep. However, this rain storm was not so inclined to live up to my fantasies.

I did not sleep soundly, I tossed and turned but most importantly I dreamed. I dreamed a dream that was so real and so terrifying it shook me awake. At 7:30 in the morning I’m usually not the most pleasant person to be around but today has been different. I woke up to the quite of the early morning, the birds weren’t even awake yet. I decided that laying back down, falling back into dreamland was not what I wanted to do. I got up and started getting ready for the day, fed the animals, and let them outside. After the morning fuss was taken care of I wandered back into the bedroom and lit some herbs to relax me. I sat there, still brutally haunted by my dream and even the herbs weren’t helping.

The only thing I could do now was to think about my dream and what it could have meant. In the dream I lost someone close to me and it was heart shattering, it broke me. In reality, I never thought the person from my dream would make me upset to lose them.

So here’s what I think. I think subconsciously if I opened myself up it would break me, so to speak. But in my conscious mind I am comfortable with saying I don’t miss them in my life.

I have decided that I want to open up and let the rain wash away what I’m holding onto on a subconscious level.

Recently, someone took red acrylic paint and painted a streak in my hair. It showed me the part of myself I had gotten rid a few months ago. A part of the real me, I caught a glimpse and I wanted her back. I cleaned the paint out of my hair and applied red hair dye. Last night I also decided to give myself a baby dread. Just one for now, until my hair grows back out.

So, I have two transformations occurring at the same time. I’m washing away everything that was you and isn’t me and reclaiming myself. At the same time I’m acknowledging my subconscious feelings and taking the steps to change, let go, and move on.

I cannot say I haven’t been avoiding coming to terms with this for a while now. This isn’t the first dream that’s pushed me in this direction either. I am taking responsibility for my actions and becoming the respectable person I know I am.

With everything that’s been going on in my community recently I’ve been doubting things, but if I sit back on the sidelines watching them play ball, I can’t really complain when my team loses.

So as part of my goals for the new year I am taking an active part. I want to be able to look back and know that I was a part of making my community and town a better place for us all no matter what you believe in or what team you play for. I will not stand back and let my community become divided and fall. I was raised in this town and I’m proud of it.

The rain has stopped for now but the grey clouds still float overhead and it makes me wonder if there’s more storm to endure…

Until we meet again,
Blessed Be xoxo

Celestial Earth Grove: Donations for East Alabama Food Bank

The Bad Husband came home from work quite late this evening and laid some heavy news on me. It seems that The East Alabama Food Bank is down to a month’s worth of food and may not be able to feed families this Christmas.


If you Google “East Alabama Food Bank” all you will get are reports that say, “’I honestly cannot recall a time when the Food Bank needed help more than we do right now,'” “the food bank has less than a month supply of food,” and “it is overwhelming to think about all the families in danger of going hungry,” because “two of the food bank’s largest donors—the Montgomery Area Food Bank and the Atlanta Community Food Bank — have significantly cut back on the amount they give” to the East Alabama Food Bank.

The Food Bank of East Alabama is critically low on supplies as the holiday season approaches.

The Bad Husband’s pulling some strings for a fundraiser at work. I just pulled my weight in pantry goods to send with my kids to school in the morning. And I and have already talked with The Bad Husband about Celestial Earth Grove (our “bad” grove) organizing an adopt-a-family for Yule/Christmas. It was my gut instinct. These are my neighbors.

I know I can’t save the world, but there has to be more we can do, right? (Anyone who knows other ways to help in moments like this–post a comment.)

The gathering I am going to in Birmingham this weekend is having a food drive, the Pagan Pride Day organizers held a food drive, my university is holding one of the state’s biggest food drives (“Beat Bama” capitalizes on the rivalry between Alabama’s state universities to the benefit of two food banks), and it seems like every grocery store has a food barrel at the door. Folks just are not able to give as much as they once could.

Know what that means? Those of us who are comfortable need to ante-up. I mean, we’re Pagans and Heathens with Pagan and Heathen ethics, right?[1] Community.

I’m starting with me.

Thanks to all of you who have been able to express your gratitude by popping some pennies in my tip cauldron–and thanks to those of you who express yourself in other ways; that means just as much to me, believe it or not. I plan to donate every red-cent of my tips and all donations made to Open Path and Celestial Earth made between October 14th and November 21st to the East Alabama Food Bank. I know I can’t say that this is an official drive without their permission but that’s the plan. (I’m avoiding the news this election season, so I just found out; they are closed until morning.)

I encourage you to check the supplies at your own community’s food bank first. If they need extra help, post a comment here so that other readers in you area know where to send help. (And by all means, if you need help–let your fellow-Pagans know. We might not be able to help, but we might be able to point you to a resource or three.) If your community’s food bank is in the black, consider donating to The East Alabama Food Bank or one of the food banks mentioned in the comments area (if any). Keep in mind that monetary donations are more helpful to all food banks–they can get supplies much cheaper than we can at a standard grocer. If you choose to do this, you can do do it on your own online or by mail:

Food Bank of East Alabama
375 Industry Drive
Auburn, Alabama 36832

Or, you can plop some loose change in the tip cauldron (@WordPress for those of you reading @Tumblr)–let me know if you want your name to appear on the donation letter. I’ll add what the family budget and the grove budget can muster. I invite any and all Pagan groups in Alabama–specifically East Alabama–to contact me at abadwitch@yahoo.com, my regular email (most of you have it), or on Facebook to make a joint effort of this. We can do more together than we can separately.

Thanks for listening,



[1] If you’ve read any of my personal stories, you know I live by Matthew 25:35-40: “For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. . . . Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.” Yes, it’s a Christian parable, but in the beginning, our ethos weren’t all that far apart.